Cloudscape 01

a-haha
so I find out that your over me
completely
you just don’t care do you?
you never loved me?
why did I think you ever would?
but him? honestly, I don’t know what your thinking
haha

its crazy
I thought I loved you
I thought we would never split
and yet there you are
slutting it up
spending time with this other guy
going after more sex
yeah I know what your all about
ha

your just so insecure
honestly you are
you feel you need some kind of validation
to make you real
you need to be accepted
that’s why you hang out with them don’t you?
you want some one...
...everyone...
to like you,
but you know, that’s not possible
cos I don’t

I never thought id say this but honestly
I don’t know why I ever liked you
yet today, only today
I saw you with this new guy
but I couldn’t stop thinking of you
I guess that’s me, I’m desperate
I guess that’s the only reason I went out with you
I guess I fucked up
I guess I made a mess
and to think that I thought you so special
as to make you my first

I was so blinded
you blinded me
a-haha
heh
why was I so crazy?
you messed me up
you introduced to me stuff I never wanted to do
not for years
yet I did it with you?
ha!
I must be mad

I am mad
I always have been
I’m just so fucked up
so messed up
so confused and wanting to find some kind of reality
yet in my head I can only find one reality
and that’s no reality
I need those around me
yet I dream of killing them all
slaughtering them like ants
crushing them, slicing them
and I can, I have my ways
and I want to, I have my dreams
but I never could...

I love those around me
but you know what...
your no longer around me
your no longer safe
I told you I never would but guess what
I hate you,
everything about you
your looks
your deception
your friends
your personality
your life
your history

now do I really mean that?
can I really mean that?
is this just me getting carried away?
is this just one cloudscape getting out of control?
or is it how I truly feel?
my is my first creation,
my first cloudscape
heh...