i know i should really update this but before i forget i just have to write this down because, at least for me, it explains so much...
say there is a girl you like, but you know you cant have her so instead (maybe subconscious) you dream or fantasise of what could happen. this dream is more attractive than the reality and as such you focus on that dream, unable to rid it from your mind because that dream is as perfect as you want it.
that's our [mankind's] problem, we always dream, we always create fantasies.
when you enter a relationship with another person alot of the time people get fed up of it, it seems dull and uninteresting over time. some say the magic fades, but i disagree, the illusion fades. in your mind you create this dream world, this reality you desire in your relationship. to begin with you see this dream world, you want to see the other person every second and you want to live this dream into existence. however as time passes (and time can vary from a few hours or days to a few months or years) reality seems in and pollutes this un-reality you have formed. you see that things arent as you wanted them and alot of people end their relationships because their dream didn't form existence.
that's why we cant easily get over people and that's why people often 'get bored' and just quit their relationships. our problem is that we allow dreams to take over, we dont have a firm enough grip on reality, or we spend to much time lost in contemplating and creation of false realities. if we didn't pay attention to these dreams (and that's hard because they are so attractive*) then relationships would be alot simpler.
human creativity destroys love. yet at the same time its the best way to express love, at least that's how i feel, im sure other will differ. now im not saying creativity is wrong, far from its an amazing gift and something to cherish entirely. however like all powers and forces it needs to be kept under control. im not saying change your entire way of living and you can find perfect love, hell, this is just a thought i created a few minutes ago. i got distracted and have lost the flow, gimme a sec.... ok ill skip to the astrex, but feel free to ask questions
*the attractively of the dreams. we must be very careful because the dreams we create are our perfect realities. we think of everything that would make the relationship complete and amazing and that all fills a part of the dream, we see everything we want perfectly captured in one aspect of our mind (again conscious or not).
ok time to continue....
another problem we can face is contrasting dreams, if you find someone with the same dream as you but them playing their part and you playing yours then chances are you will have a great time. one danger is you find someone with a different idea of what they want. dreams can vary depending on who is involved, with one person i may want a lasting relationship, however with another person i may want a short relationship, im not going to go into the reasoning's for that, least not now, but the point stands, we can have different thoughts about relationships with different people.
so yeah, contrasting dream-realities, this is a big issue, because its another way people can split up. say one person wanted a short term thing, while the other person involved wanted something long term; or even say they both wanted long term however one wanted a relationship with romance while the other preferred a more selfish approach where it is centred around them and prefers sex to romance, or maybe confuses the two. (yes im talking from experience, i wanted the romantic relationship). we broke up because of that, we both had different ideas and as such it wasn't working.
this form of conflict is alot harder to sort out, when the problem is your own thoughts you can change that, its personal to you, and if you really want the reality you will let it replace the dream. however this isn't the case in the second situation, where the problem isn't just your own, but both of yours. in a situation like this its best to just sit down and talk it over. yeah i know, its not easy, but really talk about your feelings, be totally honest (good and bad), both of you and you should see a solution that suits you both.
yeah ok im tired im gonna shush now, but by all means anyone wanting to question me or try and find out more go for it, also if you want to contribute, once again feel free, in fact i encourage it. please be aware this is just a thought and doubtless has flaws, if you have another opinion express it, but do so in a reasonable way (aka dont flame) lol, have fun.